Never Too Late
by LostInWarblerland
Summary: Blaine has a rough childhood, and as he turns 18 and is about to be thrust into the world to live on his own. Can he find a way or reason to make it through, or will he end it the first chance he gets?  Warning-Triggering
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I started writing this when I was in a bad state of mind..it's unfinished but I want to post it. It could be triggering...

Warning: Rape, Self-Harm, Swearing...all of the crap...

**Never Too Late**

_Even if I say it'll be alright,  
>Still I hear you say you want to end your life;<br>Now and again we try to just stay alive;  
>Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late,<br>It's never too late._

**_Part One_**

It is never too late. That is what everyone tells me. I want..no need to believe them. After all I have been through, I don't think I can. Not after seeing my brother being raped and murdered in front of me, then being raped myself. Not knowing, that the guy who did it is still out there and looking for me. I know too much and he needs to get rid of me before I tell. I will never tell though. I feel disgusting for letting it happen.

How could I let Him rape and murder my brother in front of me? I should have tried to stop him, instead of sitting there, fearing that I was next. I remember it like it was yesterday. There was so much blood, screaming, swearing.. I dream and think about it still. I usually wake up screaming and crying out for my brother.

God I miss him. He was all I had left. Our parents died just a few days after he turned eighteen. I was only eleven and he became my gaurdian because he could not stand the idea of me being put in foster care. In the end, I had to go there anyways.

You see, it all started when my brother started dating this girl. Her name was Katherine. She was the sweetest, most beautiful girl I have ever met, or so I thought. I first she was always nice, but slowly over the first few months of the relationship, she changed. She became paranoid and lashed out easily. I was thirteen at the time, and my brother still wanted me to have a babysitter. So, he allowed Katherine to do it.

That day started like anyother day. My brother headed off to work and Katherine told me to do my homework. I sat at the coffee table and started to read my book for English. About half way through the chapter I was reading, there was a knock at the door. She let in a guy I have never seen before. At first glance, he looked safe and normal. That assumption was wrong.

She lead him over to me and said quietly, "This is the one...cute ain't he?"

I looked up from my book, having barely heard what she said. The guy gave me a creepy smile. I closed my book and set it down, looking at Katherine. She gave me a sweet smile and left the room. The guy looked at me for a moment then firmly said, "Stand up boy, now."

I hesitantly stood up, fearful of what he wanted with me, and why Katherine was a part of it. The guy walked around me, looking me up and down. I shudder and closed my eyes, very uncomfortable with what was going on. All I wanted was for my brother to come bursting through the door. The guy gave me a wicked grin and stepped closer to me, whispering, "Such a sweet, and innocent young boy."

After that, I don't remember much, until my brother got home. All I remember is being forced to watch him and Katherine have sex. Just a few minutes after that, as they were cleaning up, my brother came in the door. I thought it would all end there. He would kick them out and everything would be better,

I was wrong. The guy came up behind my brother and grabbed him, immeaditly overpowering my brother. I cried out, but Katherine put a bandana around my mouth and tied it there. I had to sit there and watch as the guy brutally raped my brother, then took a knife and sliced his neck. I remember watching as the blood poured out, sobbing softly. My brother died a minute or so after his neck was slit.

Then it was my turn. All I remember was that it hurt terribly and then I blacked out. I woke up alone on the floor, covered in sweat, blood and a white substance. I could hear them talking in the other room. I knew I had only seconds to get on my clothes and run like hell. Through excruitating pain I got dressed and opened the front door, running like a bat out of hell. I did not stop until I reached the police station downtown.

I told them everything, but by the time they got to my house Kathrine and the guy were long gone. My brother still lay died, in the puddle of his blood. I fell to my knees, breaking down from all the emotional and physical pain I had faced. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed. There was a police officer there and I was asked many questions.

This all happened four years ago. I am now seventeen. I have been sent from foster home to foster home. No one can seem to handle the amount of love I need because of all the emotional and physical pain I have suffered. They just do not understand.

According to my social worker, I am going to be sent to a treatment center soon. My depression has made her and her colleauges start to worry about me. If they only knew.

I have been depressed since the day it happened. It has gotten worse through out the years. I am serverly depressed, but you would never know it by just looking at me. I hide it well. I also hide the fact that I self harm.

Now I have a new thing to worry about. I have to go to a treatment center. It will be the last place I will ever be able to stay for free. Once I turn eighteen I have to find away to support myself, with little help from my social worker and other people. I am screwed, because I never will be adopted.

Who wants a depressed, self-harmer as their child?

Author's Note:...so...review?


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Same old warning..and such blah blah blah_

_Part Two_

_Today I am been taken to the treatment center, where I will spend the next five months, inless I miracously get better. Which will never happen. I am stuck at that place until I turn eigthteen in five months._ _Then I get to be thrust into the world, where I'll have to support myself. I will probably die or kill myself within a week of my eighteenth birthday. Not that anyone will care. No one has ever cared about me since the death of my brother. Why would they start now? _

_I look around the plain, white room of the treatment center. I will be living in this room for five months. They will not let me decorate it. I think that is bullshit, If I am going to be living in this room, I should be able to personalize it. I already hate this place. _

_There is a knock on my door and I look at it. I say nothing, and it opens. A male nurse walks in and gives me a smile. "Hey there, I have your night meds." he says. He hands them to me with a small glass of water. I have no idea what they are, but I take them anyways. The male nurse leaves, but not before giving me a creepy smile. I shudder and try to ignore it. I tell myself that I was imaging things, I can not help but think that I've seen the guy before. I shake my head and sigh, laying down on my bed and curling up in a ball. _

_I stare blankly at the wall. Most of the time, I can't sleep at night. Once in a great while, I will get a few hours of sleep. I can already tell I won't get any sleep tonigt. I clutch the clean smelling blanket against me. It smells too clean, like a hospital. I sigh and close my eyes, trying to sleep. _

_I don't sleep at all, and around six in the morning I open my eyes and sit up. I rub my eyes. My body and mind feel tired. I wish I could sleep so badly. Maybe if I told the therapist I must talk to that I have a problem sleeping. Hopefully he will give me something I can take to help me sleep. My first meeting with him is this morning, after breakfast, I am looking forward to this meeting. I have the tinest bit of hope that I can get rid of this depression. _

_It is probably not a good idea to have an hope that I can get rid of my depression. I glance at the clock, just as I hear a knock on the door. I do not know why they bother knocking, they just walk in anyways. The same male nurse from yesterday walks in and smiles at me. "Time for breakfast" He says quietly, I nod and get up walking over to him. I follow him to the cafateria. I eat a small bowl of cereal, not really hungry. Afterwards, he leads me to the office of my therapist. His name is Dr.K _

_He opens the door for me and I walk in. Dr.K smiles at me and motions for me to sit. I sit down, staring at him a bit. I bite my lip and tense. This is it, i have to talk about what happened that day..for the first time in years._

_"Good morning Blaine, how are you feeling?" Dr.K asks quietly, looking at me. I look back at him and shrug alittle._

_"Ok, I guess. Tired as hell though." I say, in an almost whisper. Dr.K gives me a soft smile._

_"Why so tired?" He asks, righitng something down on a notepad. _

_"Most of the time...I can't sleep at night...and if I do sleep, I have nightmares" I tell him quietly, looking at the floor. Just thinking about the nightmares makes me feel uneasy. I close my eyes and then look up at him opening them. "The nightmares are terrible." _

_Dr.K nods and asks, "What are they about?"_

_I look at him and whisper, "What happened when I was thirteen" Dr.K looks at me and nods, telling me to go on, to explain what happened when I was thirteen. "I was raped..."_

_"As was your brother?' Dr.K asks, I nod, "and he was murdered?" I nod again and start to cry. "Shh...we dont have to go in to detail yet."_

_I nod and sniffle, it is so hard to think about. Every moment I think about it, I seem to fall deeper into depression. I close my eyes as the thoughts ot that fateful day when I was thirteen. I can feel myself falling deeper into depression. Dr.K shouts my name and my eyes snap open and I gasp for air. I look at him wide-eyed, tears in my eyes. I just want someone to make me feel better. "Dr.K...please help me" I whisper out. "I just want to feel better"_

_Dr.K gets up and walks over to me, pulling me into his arms. He softly rubs my back, holding me close. "Shh, Blaine..I want to help you and I understand that the first thing you need is someone who cares." He says quietly, in a soothing voice. _

_He holds me for a while, then carries me back to my room. He gets me a sleep aid and has me take it immeaditly. He sits by the bed and runs his fingers through my hair as the sleep aid slowly begins to take effect. My eyes starts to flutter close and I do not fight it, drifting off._

_Author's Note: Dr.K is not Kurt...just saying :D Review please._


End file.
